As my time here draws short, I’ve noticed I have an increasingly difficult time saying “no” to things. I’m no stranger to leaving and this time should be different because I know I’m coming back here, it just somehow seems so much more final.
This resulted recently in drinking far more mojitos than any one person should consume because I thought about how pretty soon I wouldn’t be able to drink anything like this at all. And then it led to a bout of crying about how much I was going to miss my dogs and cat. I knew that was going to happen, just not when.
I have all these crazy emotions swirling around inside lately. They’re making me depressed, antsy, anticipative and also hesitant.
I take these wildly swirling emotions with me on every run and when I first start running, I think about them all but eventually my thoughts devolve into focusing on the run, little things that I see like a funny license plate or a sign, and when I do come back to my thoughts, they’ve quieted a bit. I’m going to get through all these things just like I get through my runs-bit by bit. It’s not always going to be smooth, sometimes I have to stop and walk, but I know there’s a finish line at the end and I am going to get there.